


tell me about forever just one more time

by towokuwusatsuwu



Category: Kamen Rider Ryuki
Genre: Anal Sex, Canonical Character Death, Domestic, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Foreplay, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Near Death, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 02:49:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12831723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: Kitaoka thinks about dying and spends a morning in bed with Gorou.





	tell me about forever just one more time

There are mornings when Kitaoka Shuichi stretches along the fine sheets over his expensive mattress, either still wrapped in the warm satin of his pajamas or naked beneath the plush comforter above him, and wonder why Gorou is still with him. There are mornings when he lays in patches of warm sunlight slanting over the creams of his bed and wish that Gorou would leave him before Kitaoka  _ has _ to leave him, before they’re finally pulled apart.

Some mornings, he wonders what he would have to do to send Gorou away short of just telling him to leave— he should, he needs to, keeping him here is wrong— and comes up with nothing. He’s been short and quick to anger, cruel sometimes when his temper is at its worst, and he’s let Gorou do damn near everything for him. The sheer amount of tenderness and care that Gorou has for him should be impossible given who Kitaoka is as a person, and he knows better than anyone else that he has done exactly nothing to garner this love and attention.

He occasionally pacifies himself with the reminder that Gorou would not be here if he did not want to be here. Duty did not keep him bound here like Kitaoka tried to trick himself into believing at first; he stays because he wants to stay. He stays because somewhere between the way he blames himself for Kitaoka’s illness and the way he seemed desperate to thank him for what Kitaoka had done for him, he had fallen in love with him. Kitaoka had tried to brush that off at first, tried to convince Gorou he was too selfish and cold to ever love anyone else.

The fact Gorou is still here even though Kitaoka could have forced him to leave his side long ago speaks volumes about how much Kitaoka cares about him. That despite his desire to freeze himself off from any actual emotion, he had failed to do so when it mattered the most.

It isn’t that he hates himself. Quite the opposite, actually. Kitaoka built his fortune with the effort he put forth to become the best lawyer out there and the lack of fear to work alongside clients who no one else would touch. Embezzling here and there, too, just for the fun of it.

It’s because Kitaoka loves himself that he doesn’t want Gorou to stay beside him, because even though he’s pleased with himself and his accomplishments, he’s aware of who he is as a person. He’s also aware of how badly the cancer will affect him as the months and years pass, if he even has years left. He knows he’ll end up too tired to leave his bed, too sick to eat, wasting away day by day until there are only fragments of who he used to be left, and he doesn’t want Gorou to see him like that. He doesn’t want the one person who loves him to see him die so slowly when he still refuses to fully let go of his guilt because eventually, Kitaoka will be too weak to chase those doubts and fears from his mind, and who will do it if not for him?

“Sensei?” The bedroom door clicks open and swings in slowly, Gorou peaking in at him luxuriating beneath the expensive bedding and staring up at his bedroom ceiling with too many heavy thoughts weighing on him this morning. “Are you feeling tired this morning?”

The question makes Kitaoka frown, though just a little. He isn’t upset with Gorou and doubts he ever could be, not about this; he just wishes he wasn’t so weak and fragile that Gorou feels the need to check up on him and ask after him like this. “No, I’m just too lazy to get up quite yet. Come back to bed with me.” He flips the comforter down, pats the mattress next to him.

Of course, Gorou is already up and dressed, probably stolen downstairs to wash the dishes from their shared dinner last night and tidy up the house before Kitaoka came down and told him what he wanted for breakfast. Still, at Kitaoka’s request, he closes the door behind him and unbuttons his shirt, stripping off layers one by one as he walks toward the bed. He’s had plenty of practice doing this, both with his own clothing and Kitaoka’s, and by the time he slips back into bed, letting Kitaoka pull the comforter over top of him, he’s in nothing but black briefs. Simple in design, stupidly expensive. Kitaoka spoils back with his money when he can.

“You’re indulging me in a late morning in bed today,” Kitaoka informs him, and he hooks a leg over Gorou’s hip, pulling him closer with that alone. Not that Gorou tries to resist, because this isn’t something he would resist. If Kitaoka let him have his way, they’d likely be attached at the hip always. “How did you sleep last night, Gorou-chan? You turned in later than I did.”

Gorou scoffs softly at him and lifts a hand to card his fingers through Kitaoka’s hair, brushing it back out of his eyes with a tenderness that Kitaoka soaks in like the sunlight peeking through the curtains. “So you  _ were _ just fake sleeping when I came up, Sensei. I thought so.”

Kitaoka pouts on him and doesn’t comment on that, turning his head to press a kiss to Gorou’s palm to distract him from the line of thought Kitaoka had accidentally started up. He had been up late thinking about the Rider War, about Kanzaki Shiro and his mad desire to make them fight amongst themselves, about the finality of death, about how dangerous Asakura Takeshi has made himself in short moments by already taking one of the Riders out himself.

“I slept just fine, of course. I nearly always do. I woke up a few times, but from what I could tell when you were  _ actually _ asleep, you slept fine as well.” Gorou brushes his thumb over Kitaoka’s lips, a slow and easy gesture that makes Kitaoka shiver all over even as he gently, playfully bites Gorou for it. “Sensei, are you sure you feel well? You can tell me if you don’t.”

The words make Kitaoka hesitate for a moment and then he sighs, letting his head fall against his pillow, the case cool against his cheek. “I know I can. And I really do feel fine. I just don’t feel up to going to work or going out to fight just yet. I want something simpler this morning.”

Gorou looks down at him, as if considering whether or not he might be lying, and Kitaoka lets him do so without offense. He knows Gorou is worried about him, and he knows why, and bickering about it will only waste the time they have left together. And he doesn’t want that.

“All right,” he finally says, and it’s his turn to pull Kitaoka closer. “C’mere, then. I’ll hold you.”

Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces and Kitaoka tucks his head up under Gorou’s chin, arms lazily wrapped around his shoulders, fingers tracing patterns on his shoulder blades. He sometimes wishes that Kanzaki Shiro had never contacted him. He truly would have no hope the, but he thinks that life might almost be easier. He has to strain his tired body so much to fight.

He had been honest enough when he said he had no desire to fight, that he prefers to use his various guns to do the job for him so he doesn’t have to involve himself in much hand-to-hand combat. The strain is too much on him, especially when it comes to men like Akiyama Ren who refuse to give up, determined to see this through to the very end. He has a life outside of the Rider War, and sometimes the fighting makes it impossible to live that life the way he wants to.

Of course, there are sacrifices to be made in war, that much he knows. He’s tired of it just the same, of watching Kanzaki Shiro handicap them all again and again with his bizarre choices in Riders. Petulant college students with far too much time on their hands. Insane mass murderers who hold grudges. His sense of humor is something even Kitaoka cannot fathom.

“You have meetings today, but I don’t think it’s anything I can’t move if you ask me to,” Gorou murmurs against his hair, and Kitaoka hums at him to assure him he’s listening. “We could spend the day in if you want to. You can let me take care of you today, Sensei.”

He could do that. He knows he should probably get dressed, eat breakfast, and go out into the world and figure out how he’s going to juggle cases alongside fighting today. He should keep an eye out for Asakura, and at least being a moving target is better than being a stationary target. Instead, though, he presses himself further against Gorou’s body, enjoying his warmth.

“That sounds preferable. Just tell everyone that health concerns have come up. They respond rather well to that,” Kitaoka says, and he tips his head back to smile up at Gorou.

“Of course.” Gorou kisses him on the forehead and moves away, and Kitaoka whines at him for it. “I have to go make the calls, and then I’ll be right back. You won’t even know I’m gone.” He takes Kitaoka’s hand, kisses the palm of it, then flashes him a smile and leaves the room.

Kitaoka pouts and throws himself back on his mattress with a huff, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield them from the sunlight growing stronger by the minute it seems. He shouldn’t be acting like a brat since he fully wants to keep up his list of clients up until the very end, doesn’t want to show any weakness to the world, but he wants to spend the day with Gorou and he doesn’t want to think about anyone else right now. Part of his job involves being beholden to his more expensive VIP clients, but just the same, he wants privacy and quiet today.

The light peeking around his skin dims enough that he drags his arm away from his eyes to find Gorou pulling the heavier curtains to block the sunlight out, leaving the room darker than it had been. Watching him walk around the room in nothing but his underwear affords Kitaoka an enticing view and when Gorou returns to the bed with him, Kitaoka has already decided he doesn’t just want a quiet, lazy morning in bed anymore. When Gorou sits on the edge of the mattress, Kitaoka twists a hand in the front of his shirt, undoing half the buttons in one pull.

“Don’t yank your shirt like that or you’re going to risk tearing the buttons off.” Gorou brushes his hands away from his shirt and sets about unbuttoning the rest of it himself, pushing the satin off of Kitaoka’s shoulders. “Also, you could have asked. I’m not one to deny you anything.”

“I know that. But it looks like I didn’t have to ask, after all. You looked at me and knew what I wanted just like always.” Kitaoka smirks up at him even as Gorou gives the shirt a gentle shake before draping it over a nearby chair. “Stop doing that and come to bed with me now.”

“Of course.” Gorou crawls into bed with him and kisses him firmly on the mouth, suddenly enough that he steals any semblance of breath that Kitaoka had, teeth tugging lightly at his lower lip before he pulls back to smile at him. “What would you like from me?”

Kitaoka gives himself a little shake, amused at himself for losing his bearings so quickly where Gorou is concerned. But hasn’t he always, in a way? “You said you would take care of me today, and I want you to do that. Take care of me. Spoil me like you always do, Gorou-chan.”

“Yes, Sensei.” Gorou kisses him again, slower this time, then plants a hand firmly against his chest and pushes him back into the pillows. “Please lay back and let me take care of the rest.”

Gorou is on top of him then, one hand pressed into the pillow beside Kitaoka’s head, the other brushing over his bare chest while Gorou catches his lips in another kiss, this one slower but far more passionate. He’s good at kissing but more than that, he’s good at kissing Kitaoka like he likes to be kissed. A nice slow build before there’s tongue and teeth and he knows what Kitaoka likes, sucks hard on his tongue and presses teeth against his lower lip not hard enough to hurt.

“Relax,” Gorou whispers against his lips before trailing warm, wet kisses down Kitaoka’s jaw to his throat, sucking the thin skin over his pulse. There’s no argument to be made, Kitaoka melting into the sheets, his legs already spreading wide and invitingly for Gorou.

Rough and callused yet gentle hands map out the contours of his body while his eyes flutter closed and he lets himself enjoy this, drink this in. Gorou’s lips follow more slowly, paying homage to every sensitive place on Kitaoka’s torso, wet kisses over his collarbone, wet swipes of tongue over his nipples, teeth nipping just gently over his ribs where he’s ticklish enough to squirm at the contact and under the attention.

“You’re teasing me,” he mutters when Gorou licks along the indent in his hip just above the top of his pajama pants but no lower, hands holding his hips down so he can’t wriggle free from the slick fabric. “Gorou-chan, that isn’t  _ fair. _ ”

“I told you I would take care of you, and I will. But I’ll do that at my own pace, not yours.” The words make Kitaoka lift his head and scowl, but Gorou just smiles easily up at him, pointedly ignoring where Kitaoka’s already hard beneath his pants. “You know I always give you what you want me to, so let me do that. Let me take care of you, Sensei.”

Kitaoka takes a breath to brace himself and lays back in the sheets, scolding himself for being so impatient. Gorou is right; Kitaoka has never been less than satisfied when he comes to Gorou with what he wants, and he knows nothing will have likely changed. But it’s in his nature to always get what he wants and he always has to fight for it because nothing is ever given free of charge— and then Gorou palms him through his pants and he loses that train of thought entirely, whining, bucking up to press the curve of his cock against Gorou’s palm. He wants more everything— touch, friction, attention. Anything and everything he can get.

Gorou takes his sweet time getting the pants off of Kitaoka and there are still his briefs beneath, and Gorou ignores them entirely. He spreads Kitaoka’s thighs wider, hands splayed across his skin, warm and capable, and Kitaoka feels so exposed knowing that he’s vulnerable like this, but he trusts Gorou to take care of him. Trust is the one thing they’ve always had, after all.

“Roll over for me and hand me a pillow when you do,” Gorou tells him, and Kitaoka rolls himself over, grabbing a pillow he isn’t using and handing it down to Gorou as asked.

The familiar softness of the pillow beneath his hips is a sharp contrast to how hard he is now, and he bites down on another pout when he realizes Gorou isn’t going to touch him and likely won’t take kindly to him fucking against the pillow for friction. He pillows his head on his arms and shivers when Gorou leans up over him again, kissing him on the cheek before retrieving something from the nightstand drawer. He doesn’t let Kitaoka see what it is, but he does kiss his way down Kitaoka’s spine before hooking his fingers in the waistband of Kitaoka’s briefs, drawing them down far enough that Kitaoka feels the kiss of cool air against his ass.

This is something he’s enough used to that he’s able to relax again and then Gorou’s hands are there, spreading his cheeks wider, tongue smoothing between them and making Kitaoka jump. It’s the contrast of the cool morning air and the warm and wet and the way that Gorou knows this part of him so intimately. Kitaoka fists his hands in the sheets and closes his eyes, inhaling in a long shuddering breath while Gorou teases him, tongue flicking over his taint.

“Hold still,” he says when Kitaoka wriggles, trying to tempt him into doing what he wants to do. His grip on Kitaoka’s hips tightens, not firm enough yet to hurt but enough to make sure he can’t wiggle anymore. “Hold still or you’ll only have to wait longer.”

Kitaoka grips the sheets tighter, then forces himself to relax. A few more teasing flicks of his tongue over Kitaoka’s hole and then Gorou delivers as promised, licking inside of him in one smooth stroke that makes Kitaoka gasp and bite down hard on the pillow.

Gorou’s tongue slips into him as easily as always, wet and hot, teasing his nerves without giving him anything close to completion. The mystery object from the drawer turns out to be lubricant; a slicked finger joins his tongue a moment later just to hold Kitaoka’s hole open for his tongue to reach deeper, drawing a choked whine from his throat as he arches his hips up in offering.

The finger inside of him finds his prostate with ease and massaging it with slow, maddening precision while his tongue laps at Kitaoka inside, and he doesn’t rock down against the pillow because he wants to. It’s almost subconscious; he’s more focused on trying to get more of Gorou’s mouth than he is about his cock right now. When a second finger joins the first, Kitaoka presses his face into the pillow and tremors all over.

A third finger and Gorou removes his tongue altogether, yanking Kitaoka’s underwear down enough that he can lick a wet trail down his taint to tease his balls. Kitaoka moans and spreads his legs wider, lifts his hips just enough to give Gorou more room to work with.

On your back for me,” Gorou tells him, working his fingers in and out with exquisite ease, the lube making it easy, Kitaoka’s need making it easier. “I want to see your face.”

“Oh, yes,” Kitaoka murmurs, and he rolls himself over with quivering arms and legs.

The underwear comes the rest of the way off so his cock can lay against his belly, hard with pre-come smeared over the tip. Gorou looks down at him and his eyes flash with hunger before he leans back himself, yanking his underwear down, fisting his cock with slick fingers.

Kitaoka hooks a leg around his waist and Gorou catches his other leg just behind his knee, holding him spread wide and open. When he guides himself in with one easy thrust, Kitaoka throws his head back and keens at the stretch, the sensation of fulfillment.

Their bodies move together in a perfect tandem, Gorou’s hips rocking forward while Kitaoka arches his down to take in more of Gorou’s cock. He’s taken Gorou so many times that it almost feels like their bodies were made to fit together like this, like there isn’t going to be another person who completes him like this. Kitaoka moans loud and unashamed when Gorou’s hips come to rest against his ass, his cock large enough to stretch Kitaoka wider than he’d been used to before his. One of Kitaoka’s quivering hands settles on his shoulder and squeezes.

“Just let go, Sensei.” Gorou touches his face. “I’m here. Just let me take care of you.”

Kitaoka does just that, lying on his back, held where Gorou wants him. His head lolls to the side and he pants harshly around breathy moans and needy whines, feeling too empty when Gorou pulls out and startlingly full when he thrusts back inside. With Gorou leaning over him, radiating heat, he’s so warm and content and overwhelmed with love for the man above him.

Of course, Gorou knows his body far better than any other lover ever has before. He sets a firm pace, not too slow nor too fast, not too hard nor too soft. When Kitaoka just thinks he’s found the rhythm so he can match it, Gorou angles his hips enough, dragging his shaft over Kitaoka’s prostate and making it impossible for him to focus. There’s nothing useful he can do under this attention and he lets go of trying while Gorou fucks him slow and easy like he has a thousand times.

When the pleasure begins coiling tight and hot in Kitaoka’s gut, Gorou wraps a hand around his cock and works him with his fingers in the same rhythm he’s set with his cock. It’s good and Kitaoka lets his body rock with the motions, focusing on the heat inside of him and the hand around him and the way Gorou whispers  _ Sensei _ around his low soft moans. All he can think to do is tighten his ass around Gorou’s cock, enjoying the sharp hiss of breath the sensation affords him, thrilled to know he can affect Gorou like Gorou can affect him.

The hand on his cock moves faster and he can hear the shift in Gorou’s breathing, the more frantic it becomes, the harsher. His movements never slow nor become sloppy, everything perfectly measured so that when Kitaoka cries out and comes hot and sticky over Gorou’s fingers, Gorou comes wet inside of him.

Kitaoka lounges on the pillows while Gorou cleans him up and cleans himself up, then lays himself down beside Kitaoka. He wraps Kitaoka tight in his arms and kisses him, firm and warm and better than anyone else. He’s exquisite at everything he does, a jack of all trades truly.

It occurs to Kitaoka he’s going to lose this one day, and likely one day soon. It’s almost enough to break what’s left of his heart, but he doesn’t let it. Instead, he rolls onto his side and kisses Gorou, telling himself to just live in this moment. No fighting to the death, no fighting to survive. For just this moment, he can let all of that go and pretend this will truly be enough.


End file.
